Head Captain Yamamoto looked steadily into Ichigo’s eyes, making him feel as though he could choke from all the unwanted attention. Everyone else was glaring at Ichigo as though he had raped their mother. What he did to earn their anger, he didn’t know.
“Er, could you stop staring at me like an owl already?” Ichigo said, trying not to sound too rude.
“Why should I?” replied Head Captain Yamamoto.
“That’s a good question, you know,” Ichigo said, twiddling his thumbs and choosing not to look into Yamamoto’s eyes. He laughed sheepishly and went on: “I’m feeling rather... self-conscious all of a sudden.”
“Then this is a good exercise. Try to overcome your unease, and only then can you hope to defeat your enemies.” Yamamoto said.
Ichigo had no reply.
Orihime stood up for him. She was innately protective of Ichigo. He was, after all, the first love of hers that she couldn’t eat.
“Sir,” Orihime said timidly. When she realized that he wasn’t looking at her, she raised her voice slightly. When even that didn’t seem to have any effect on the wizened man, she yelled, “SIR!”
Silence reigned supreme once again, and this time, all eyes were on Orihime.
Ichigo mentally heaved a sigh of relief. Mentally, because if he were to sigh out loud, all eyes would be on him again, and being thrifty by nature, he wouldn’t carelessly spend the few moments of peace he had snatched. He sadistically watched Orihime wither under the numerous gazes she was receiving from all directions and sniggered to himself. Stupid but useful, he thought, and said nothing else.
“Why is everyone staring at me like that?” Orihime asked, unconsciously trying to hide the little cleavage that was visible through the collar of her shirt.
“What did you say, girl?” Yamamoto said after a while.
“Um, I said, ‘Sir’.” Orihime replied.
“How many times did you say it?”
“Three, sir.”
“And what need did you have for repeating yourself twice?”
“I, uh—”
“Did you think I was deaf?”
“No, never, I jus—”
“Don’t you know that one’s ears needn’t be facing the source of sound to be able to hear?”
“I—”
“I could hear you very clearly, and was waiting for you to go on.” Yamamoto said; “But you simply wouldn’t go on.”
“I’m so sorry, sir, I didn’t realize—”
“That I could hear?”
“That’s not what I meant, sir, I—”
“Do I look like a fool?”
Orihime chose not to answer that.
“What’s so funny? Why do you smile?” Yamamoto asked in irritation.
Orihime wasn’t smiling.
“Do I look funny to you?”
Again, Orihime chose not to answer that.
“Answer me!” Yamamoto said sharply.
“Yes,” Orihime blurted before she could stop herself.
A silence, more intense and portentous than the last two, pervaded.
Orihime spoke after a couple minutes. “Um, sir? Can we pretend this never happened?”
Yamamoto didn’t say anything for a while. Then, “Yes, I would prefer that, too.” he said, turned to face everyone, and said, “No conversation took place between this girl and me, is that understood?”
Everyone nodded wordlessly. When Yamamoto says, “Do it,” it is performed.
“Now, Ichigo, was there anything you wanted to ask me?” Yamamoto said once he was convinced that everyone had erased that conversation from their brain.
“Er, when is this vacation, anyway?” Ichigo asked. He didn’t really want an answer: he only asked for the heck of asking something, and because he didn’t want to put himself in a socially awkward situation all over again.
“Ah, I’m glad you asked,” Yamamoto said, “because it means that you’ve decided to come along with us after all!”
Ichigo resisted the urge to raise an eyebrow. Did that old geezer already forget that he gave him no choice?
“Anyway,” Yamamoto went on, “we leave in about a week. So if you want to go sightseeing around the Seiretei in the meantime, you’re at liberty to do so.”
“Oh, sure, thanks.” Ichigo said in a reserved sort of way.
“Now, I guess I’ll get back to work now.” Yamamoto said, turning around and retracing his steps until he was out of sight.
That was when people gathered the courage to speak and move again. It was apparent that the effect the Head Captain had on his subordinates was slightly more profound than being tied up and gagged.
“You stupid girl,” Zaraki said contemptuously to Orihime; “Why’d you have to go and say ‘Yes’?”
“To whom?” Orihime asked confusedly.
“To the Head Captain of course.”
“I never spoke a word to him.”
“She’s right, you know.” Captain Ukitake said.
Zaraki took a deep breath, and with great effort, said, “Yeah, I guess you’re right. I’m mistaken.”
“I guess I’ll return to my office as well.”
“There will be no need for that, Hitsugaya.” Byakuya said; “Remember what the Head Captain told us at the last meeting?”
“Oh darn, I forgot!” Hitsugaya cursed. “We’re off for the whole of this week starting noon today...”
“Shouldn’t you be happy?” Ichigo asked.
“Why should I? Do you have any idea how boring it gets here in the Seiretei?”
“He has a point.” Uryu said.
“Did you say something?” Zaraki said, narrowing his eyes to a dangerously small size.
“Uh, no, no, of course not!” Uryu said, laughing nervously; “The Seiretei’s so fun that I wish I could stay here for the rest of my life!”
“Suit yourself, weirdo.” Zaraki said; “I don’t see anything fun about this trashy place.”
“But now that Ichi’s here, Kenny can have fun!” Yachiru said.
“Hey, Yachiru, do you know where I can find another like this?” Orihime said, holding out a slightly wilted flower that she had picked earlier that day. It was the last on that tree.
“Oh, yes!” Yachiru said, holding Orihime by the arm and dragging her away, both of them screaming excitedly at the top of their lungs and jumping around like it was nobody’s business.
“They could easily pass for sisters.” Hitsugaya observed.
“But that isn’t the point!” Ichigo said; “I don’t wanna go on that darn vacation of yours!”
“The Head Captain obviously thought otherwise, as would any other sane man, from what you said.” Byakuya said coolly.
“You don’t understand. I’m going right back down and telling him to shove his idea of a vacation up his—Oof...”
“Nice one, Chad.” Uryu said.
“It was nothing.” Chad said, pretending to blow dust off his knuckles.
“What’re you going to do with him?”
“He’s out cold, isn’t he?”
“Bring him to my office,” Hitsugaya said with an evil glint in his eyes, “and I’ll show him what ‘cold’ really means.”
“I couldn’t let you do that.” Byakuya said.
“Brother, you’re actually siding with...?” Rukia asked disbelievingly. Her already big eyes were now twice their normal size.
“I couldn’t let you do that,” Byakuya repeated, “because I prefer to let him rest on a bed of sakura flowers first.” He nearly grinned. “A very, very sharp bed.”
* * * * *
Neither Byakuya nor Hitsugaya could put Ichigo to ‘rest’, because shortly after they had proclaimed their own novel ideas of exacting their revenge against the boy, Hanatarou from Squad 4 somehow materialized in that spot. Seeing Ichigo lying unconscious on the floor, he wasted no time in reviving him, whereupon Hanatarou dematerialized and Ichigo began hurling all kinds of invectives at Chad and Uryu.
Presently, the four of them—Ichigo, Rukia, Chad and Uryu—were sitting on top of Soukyoku Hill and enjoying the light breeze while simultaneously being baked alive by the fierce sun.
“Damn, I’m going to get sunburned, I swear!” Ichigo cursed. He turned to Rukia. “Aren’t you worried?”
“No.” she replied; “My ice-based Zanpakutō makes it really hard for me to get burned.”
“Couldn’t you share some of that with me?”
“No way! Use your own Zanpakutō!” Rukia said irascibly.
“Erm, how?” Ichigo asked, observing his large butcher’s knife.
“Cut your head off and hope that it lands in a cool, shady spot.”
“Ha, ha!” Uryu laughed; “Nice one.”
“And take Uryu with you, too.” Rukia added.
Uryu scowled. “Why would I want to get stuck with him?”
“I don’t know,” Rukia said, putting on a thoughtful expression; “Is it maybe because you’re gay and you have this uncontrollable desire for Ichigo to warm your bed up?”
Uryu was too shocked at the fact that someone like Rukia should say things so vulgar to him to speak. He gaped at her and blinked stupidly half a dozen times, then coughed nervously, pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose, used the phrase ‘Quincy honor’ in a couple of sentences, got up, murmured something about being overtired, and disappeared.
“What’s up with him?” Rukia asked.
“He’s shocked.” Chad said succinctly.
“Ichigo, are you okay?” Rukia asked, incredulous at his lack of reaction to her extremely provocative words.
“I’m fine.” Ichigo said, a little confused; “Shouldn’t I be?”
“Oh, good then. No, it’s nothing.” Rukia said, slightly relieved. If Ichigo hadn’t heard what she had said, there was definitely no reason to bring it up.
“Where’s Uryu?” Ichigo asked suddenly, looking around.
“He suddenly realized that he was sleepy.” Rukia said; “Weird kid. I seriously doubt him.”—alluding to his queer reaction at Rukia’s ‘gay’ comment.
“Doubt him for what?”
“Certain things.”
“Like?”
“I definitely doubt that he’s sane.” Rukia said.
“You’re definitely not the first.” Ichigo concurred, dropping the matter there.
“It seems to be getting hotter and hotter.” Rukia observed, more to herself than her two companions.
“And besides, it’s lunchtime.” Ichigo said.
“I’m not exactly hungry, but yeah, it’s lunchtime.” Rukia said. She hadn’t used half as much spirit energy as Ichigo had since they had arrived in the Spirit World, so it was only natural for him to feel proportionately hungrier.
“How do you want to spend this week?” Ichigo asked.
“I’d like to tour the Seiretei like the Head Captain suggested.” Chad said; “I’d like to meet that Casanova-captain again.”
“That’s a harsh way of describing him, but that’s Captain Kyoraku for you.” Rukia said. “As for me, I’m thinking on helping Brother out in preparing for the vacation.”
“Byakuya needs help preparing?” Ichigo asked, becoming instantly interested. He was quite the busybody.
“He isn’t exactly an expert when it comes to packing.” Rukia said candidly. “Save for one year—at the very beginning—I’ve helped him pack for every single vacation.”
“What happened in that one year?”
“Let’s just say Head Captain Yamamoto was close to considering a new Captain of Squad 6.”
Ichigo gasped. “What could be that bad?”
Rukia sighed. “Brother tied the knot of the belt too tightly around his clothes trunk, and when he managed to pull the belt off with a frightfully sinewy tug after reaching the Meadows, the big heavy thing went out of control, flew into the air and landed on poor Head Captain Yamamoto’s old lap.”
Ichigo couldn’t suppress a gasp. “What happened next?”
“So much for the ‘Let’s just say...’ part of it.” Rukia said dryly. “I feel as though I’m narrating a story.”
“You are.” Chad pointed out.
“All right. Well, naturally, the other captains were by the Head Captain’s side in a flash, and when Brother was asked to apologize, he simply said that it was the Head Captain’s fault for standing that close to the trunk.”
“Whoa!” Ichigo exclaimed; “Your brother’s got some nerve!”
“He doesn’t like owning up to his mistakes.” Rukia sighed; “It’s exactly for the same reason that I heard this story from Renji and not him.”
“Were you talking about me?”
The three of them nearly jumped out of their skins. Ukitake wasn’t kidding when he said Byakuya had an uncanny tendency to show up whenever people talked behind his back.
“Byakuya!” Ichigo exclaimed.
“Brother!” Rukia said, slightly surprised.
“Sir.” Chad muttered, not knowing what else to say.
“I came here to inform you that lunch has been served in the Dining Hall, and if you don’t make it there in the next three minutes, I will personally trash it.” Byakuya said coldly—which was a welcome change, considering how hot the weather was.
“Right.” Ichigo said.
“We’ll be there.” Rukia added.
“Pronto.” Chad finished, and the three of them hurried toward the stairs that led down from Soukyoku Hill.
Byakuya looked pensively into the horizon and smiled softly to himself. “I vividly remember the Head Captain’s expression.”
That piece of reminiscence must have been overwhelmingly funny, because Byakuya began chuckling uncontrollably within himself.
* * * * *
“Dining Hall?!” Ichigo said. “What the heck is this place?”
From the way Byakuya had put it, Ichigo was expecting a grand hall with sparkling high ceilings and other regal things like that. In reality, the ‘Dining Hall’ was a total antithesis of what he had imagined. The first thing that came to Ichigo’s mind upon seeing it was ‘horse stable’.
“Well, this is where the captains and lieutenants have their cookouts. Since it’s very hot today, they improvised this little roof-thingy.”
It looked like an improvisation, too: the ‘roof-thingy’ seemed to comprise layers of dry leaves held in place with sticks, with six large bamboo poles holding it up.
“Isn’t it going to fall?” Ichigo asked with grave concern, seeing the thing sway dangerously in the wind.
“Don’t be silly, Ichigo. This isn’t the first time they’ve erected this thing. They’ve been doing it every summer since time immemorial. To date, it has never fallen even once.” Rukia said.
Just then, someone shouted, “Oh no! It’s falling!” and in a flash, everyone was out from underneath the makeshift Dining Hall.
Ichigo watched the roof collapse with amusement written all over his face.
“You were saying?” he said to Rukia.
“My lips are sealed.” Rukia said.
Fortunately, Ichigo, Chad and Rukia had managed to snatch a plateful of lunch before the roof collapsed, so they didn’t curse and swear like the other soul reapers who hadn’t managed to think as quickly.
“Uryu’s missed lunch.” Rukia noted without much concern.
“He’s a wimp. Who cares about him?” Ichigo said.
Rukia shrugged.
* * * * *
“So, your name’s Ishida, isn’t it?”
“Yes. It’s Uryu Ishida.”
Uryu was enjoying the cool breeze that was entering through Ukitake’s cabin’s open windows. It was very helpful that the cabin was surrounded by water.
“I’d like you to have this.” Ukitake said, holding out a basketful of candy for Uryu.
“Me?” Uryu asked, his glasses wobbling on his nose, threatening to fall.
“Yes.” Ukitake said pleasantly. “Think of it as a gift. Both our names have a ‘sh’ sound in them, and both start with the letter U.”
“But you’ve mixed up first name and last—”
“Don’t ruin the moment.” Ukitake said; “I always feel happy when I meet people with names similar to mine.”
“Can I eat this now?” Uryu asked, his mouth watering at the sight of the candy. When he was with his friends, he was careful not to reveal his lust for candy, lest they laughed their asses off and derided him for being effeminate. But now that he was almost alone in Ukitake’s cabin with a big basketful of candy right before him, calling out his name in an extremely sensual manner, he’d be really cruel to himself to resist.
“Sure!” Ukitake said, and Uryu pounced on the basket and devoured the candy to the last morsel within a matter of moments.
“That was a great lunch, Captain Ukitake!” Uryu said.
“No problem. You can come down here anytime you like, and I’ll be sure to bring a whole sack of candy with me to the Meadows. You don’t have to be shy: just ask.” Ukitake said.
“Thanks so much!” Uryu said, feeling saliva rush into his mouth at the thought of having a whole sack of candy.
“Soul reapers aren’t so bad after all.” Uryu decided as he walked back from Ukitake’s cabin; “And the vacation’s going to be great, too.”
“Er, could you stop staring at me like an owl already?” Ichigo said, trying not to sound too rude.
“Why should I?” replied Head Captain Yamamoto.
“That’s a good question, you know,” Ichigo said, twiddling his thumbs and choosing not to look into Yamamoto’s eyes. He laughed sheepishly and went on: “I’m feeling rather... self-conscious all of a sudden.”
“Then this is a good exercise. Try to overcome your unease, and only then can you hope to defeat your enemies.” Yamamoto said.
Ichigo had no reply.
Orihime stood up for him. She was innately protective of Ichigo. He was, after all, the first love of hers that she couldn’t eat.
“Sir,” Orihime said timidly. When she realized that he wasn’t looking at her, she raised her voice slightly. When even that didn’t seem to have any effect on the wizened man, she yelled, “SIR!”
Silence reigned supreme once again, and this time, all eyes were on Orihime.
Ichigo mentally heaved a sigh of relief. Mentally, because if he were to sigh out loud, all eyes would be on him again, and being thrifty by nature, he wouldn’t carelessly spend the few moments of peace he had snatched. He sadistically watched Orihime wither under the numerous gazes she was receiving from all directions and sniggered to himself. Stupid but useful, he thought, and said nothing else.
“Why is everyone staring at me like that?” Orihime asked, unconsciously trying to hide the little cleavage that was visible through the collar of her shirt.
“What did you say, girl?” Yamamoto said after a while.
“Um, I said, ‘Sir’.” Orihime replied.
“How many times did you say it?”
“Three, sir.”
“And what need did you have for repeating yourself twice?”
“I, uh—”
“Did you think I was deaf?”
“No, never, I jus—”
“Don’t you know that one’s ears needn’t be facing the source of sound to be able to hear?”
“I—”
“I could hear you very clearly, and was waiting for you to go on.” Yamamoto said; “But you simply wouldn’t go on.”
“I’m so sorry, sir, I didn’t realize—”
“That I could hear?”
“That’s not what I meant, sir, I—”
“Do I look like a fool?”
Orihime chose not to answer that.
“What’s so funny? Why do you smile?” Yamamoto asked in irritation.
Orihime wasn’t smiling.
“Do I look funny to you?”
Again, Orihime chose not to answer that.
“Answer me!” Yamamoto said sharply.
“Yes,” Orihime blurted before she could stop herself.
A silence, more intense and portentous than the last two, pervaded.
Orihime spoke after a couple minutes. “Um, sir? Can we pretend this never happened?”
Yamamoto didn’t say anything for a while. Then, “Yes, I would prefer that, too.” he said, turned to face everyone, and said, “No conversation took place between this girl and me, is that understood?”
Everyone nodded wordlessly. When Yamamoto says, “Do it,” it is performed.
“Now, Ichigo, was there anything you wanted to ask me?” Yamamoto said once he was convinced that everyone had erased that conversation from their brain.
“Er, when is this vacation, anyway?” Ichigo asked. He didn’t really want an answer: he only asked for the heck of asking something, and because he didn’t want to put himself in a socially awkward situation all over again.
“Ah, I’m glad you asked,” Yamamoto said, “because it means that you’ve decided to come along with us after all!”
Ichigo resisted the urge to raise an eyebrow. Did that old geezer already forget that he gave him no choice?
“Anyway,” Yamamoto went on, “we leave in about a week. So if you want to go sightseeing around the Seiretei in the meantime, you’re at liberty to do so.”
“Oh, sure, thanks.” Ichigo said in a reserved sort of way.
“Now, I guess I’ll get back to work now.” Yamamoto said, turning around and retracing his steps until he was out of sight.
That was when people gathered the courage to speak and move again. It was apparent that the effect the Head Captain had on his subordinates was slightly more profound than being tied up and gagged.
“You stupid girl,” Zaraki said contemptuously to Orihime; “Why’d you have to go and say ‘Yes’?”
“To whom?” Orihime asked confusedly.
“To the Head Captain of course.”
“I never spoke a word to him.”
“She’s right, you know.” Captain Ukitake said.
Zaraki took a deep breath, and with great effort, said, “Yeah, I guess you’re right. I’m mistaken.”
“I guess I’ll return to my office as well.”
“There will be no need for that, Hitsugaya.” Byakuya said; “Remember what the Head Captain told us at the last meeting?”
“Oh darn, I forgot!” Hitsugaya cursed. “We’re off for the whole of this week starting noon today...”
“Shouldn’t you be happy?” Ichigo asked.
“Why should I? Do you have any idea how boring it gets here in the Seiretei?”
“He has a point.” Uryu said.
“Did you say something?” Zaraki said, narrowing his eyes to a dangerously small size.
“Uh, no, no, of course not!” Uryu said, laughing nervously; “The Seiretei’s so fun that I wish I could stay here for the rest of my life!”
“Suit yourself, weirdo.” Zaraki said; “I don’t see anything fun about this trashy place.”
“But now that Ichi’s here, Kenny can have fun!” Yachiru said.
“Hey, Yachiru, do you know where I can find another like this?” Orihime said, holding out a slightly wilted flower that she had picked earlier that day. It was the last on that tree.
“Oh, yes!” Yachiru said, holding Orihime by the arm and dragging her away, both of them screaming excitedly at the top of their lungs and jumping around like it was nobody’s business.
“They could easily pass for sisters.” Hitsugaya observed.
“But that isn’t the point!” Ichigo said; “I don’t wanna go on that darn vacation of yours!”
“The Head Captain obviously thought otherwise, as would any other sane man, from what you said.” Byakuya said coolly.
“You don’t understand. I’m going right back down and telling him to shove his idea of a vacation up his—Oof...”
“Nice one, Chad.” Uryu said.
“It was nothing.” Chad said, pretending to blow dust off his knuckles.
“What’re you going to do with him?”
“He’s out cold, isn’t he?”
“Bring him to my office,” Hitsugaya said with an evil glint in his eyes, “and I’ll show him what ‘cold’ really means.”
“I couldn’t let you do that.” Byakuya said.
“Brother, you’re actually siding with...?” Rukia asked disbelievingly. Her already big eyes were now twice their normal size.
“I couldn’t let you do that,” Byakuya repeated, “because I prefer to let him rest on a bed of sakura flowers first.” He nearly grinned. “A very, very sharp bed.”
* * * * *
Neither Byakuya nor Hitsugaya could put Ichigo to ‘rest’, because shortly after they had proclaimed their own novel ideas of exacting their revenge against the boy, Hanatarou from Squad 4 somehow materialized in that spot. Seeing Ichigo lying unconscious on the floor, he wasted no time in reviving him, whereupon Hanatarou dematerialized and Ichigo began hurling all kinds of invectives at Chad and Uryu.
Presently, the four of them—Ichigo, Rukia, Chad and Uryu—were sitting on top of Soukyoku Hill and enjoying the light breeze while simultaneously being baked alive by the fierce sun.
“Damn, I’m going to get sunburned, I swear!” Ichigo cursed. He turned to Rukia. “Aren’t you worried?”
“No.” she replied; “My ice-based Zanpakutō makes it really hard for me to get burned.”
“Couldn’t you share some of that with me?”
“No way! Use your own Zanpakutō!” Rukia said irascibly.
“Erm, how?” Ichigo asked, observing his large butcher’s knife.
“Cut your head off and hope that it lands in a cool, shady spot.”
“Ha, ha!” Uryu laughed; “Nice one.”
“And take Uryu with you, too.” Rukia added.
Uryu scowled. “Why would I want to get stuck with him?”
“I don’t know,” Rukia said, putting on a thoughtful expression; “Is it maybe because you’re gay and you have this uncontrollable desire for Ichigo to warm your bed up?”
Uryu was too shocked at the fact that someone like Rukia should say things so vulgar to him to speak. He gaped at her and blinked stupidly half a dozen times, then coughed nervously, pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose, used the phrase ‘Quincy honor’ in a couple of sentences, got up, murmured something about being overtired, and disappeared.
“What’s up with him?” Rukia asked.
“He’s shocked.” Chad said succinctly.
“Ichigo, are you okay?” Rukia asked, incredulous at his lack of reaction to her extremely provocative words.
“I’m fine.” Ichigo said, a little confused; “Shouldn’t I be?”
“Oh, good then. No, it’s nothing.” Rukia said, slightly relieved. If Ichigo hadn’t heard what she had said, there was definitely no reason to bring it up.
“Where’s Uryu?” Ichigo asked suddenly, looking around.
“He suddenly realized that he was sleepy.” Rukia said; “Weird kid. I seriously doubt him.”—alluding to his queer reaction at Rukia’s ‘gay’ comment.
“Doubt him for what?”
“Certain things.”
“Like?”
“I definitely doubt that he’s sane.” Rukia said.
“You’re definitely not the first.” Ichigo concurred, dropping the matter there.
“It seems to be getting hotter and hotter.” Rukia observed, more to herself than her two companions.
“And besides, it’s lunchtime.” Ichigo said.
“I’m not exactly hungry, but yeah, it’s lunchtime.” Rukia said. She hadn’t used half as much spirit energy as Ichigo had since they had arrived in the Spirit World, so it was only natural for him to feel proportionately hungrier.
“How do you want to spend this week?” Ichigo asked.
“I’d like to tour the Seiretei like the Head Captain suggested.” Chad said; “I’d like to meet that Casanova-captain again.”
“That’s a harsh way of describing him, but that’s Captain Kyoraku for you.” Rukia said. “As for me, I’m thinking on helping Brother out in preparing for the vacation.”
“Byakuya needs help preparing?” Ichigo asked, becoming instantly interested. He was quite the busybody.
“He isn’t exactly an expert when it comes to packing.” Rukia said candidly. “Save for one year—at the very beginning—I’ve helped him pack for every single vacation.”
“What happened in that one year?”
“Let’s just say Head Captain Yamamoto was close to considering a new Captain of Squad 6.”
Ichigo gasped. “What could be that bad?”
Rukia sighed. “Brother tied the knot of the belt too tightly around his clothes trunk, and when he managed to pull the belt off with a frightfully sinewy tug after reaching the Meadows, the big heavy thing went out of control, flew into the air and landed on poor Head Captain Yamamoto’s old lap.”
Ichigo couldn’t suppress a gasp. “What happened next?”
“So much for the ‘Let’s just say...’ part of it.” Rukia said dryly. “I feel as though I’m narrating a story.”
“You are.” Chad pointed out.
“All right. Well, naturally, the other captains were by the Head Captain’s side in a flash, and when Brother was asked to apologize, he simply said that it was the Head Captain’s fault for standing that close to the trunk.”
“Whoa!” Ichigo exclaimed; “Your brother’s got some nerve!”
“He doesn’t like owning up to his mistakes.” Rukia sighed; “It’s exactly for the same reason that I heard this story from Renji and not him.”
“Were you talking about me?”
The three of them nearly jumped out of their skins. Ukitake wasn’t kidding when he said Byakuya had an uncanny tendency to show up whenever people talked behind his back.
“Byakuya!” Ichigo exclaimed.
“Brother!” Rukia said, slightly surprised.
“Sir.” Chad muttered, not knowing what else to say.
“I came here to inform you that lunch has been served in the Dining Hall, and if you don’t make it there in the next three minutes, I will personally trash it.” Byakuya said coldly—which was a welcome change, considering how hot the weather was.
“Right.” Ichigo said.
“We’ll be there.” Rukia added.
“Pronto.” Chad finished, and the three of them hurried toward the stairs that led down from Soukyoku Hill.
Byakuya looked pensively into the horizon and smiled softly to himself. “I vividly remember the Head Captain’s expression.”
That piece of reminiscence must have been overwhelmingly funny, because Byakuya began chuckling uncontrollably within himself.
* * * * *
“Dining Hall?!” Ichigo said. “What the heck is this place?”
From the way Byakuya had put it, Ichigo was expecting a grand hall with sparkling high ceilings and other regal things like that. In reality, the ‘Dining Hall’ was a total antithesis of what he had imagined. The first thing that came to Ichigo’s mind upon seeing it was ‘horse stable’.
“Well, this is where the captains and lieutenants have their cookouts. Since it’s very hot today, they improvised this little roof-thingy.”
It looked like an improvisation, too: the ‘roof-thingy’ seemed to comprise layers of dry leaves held in place with sticks, with six large bamboo poles holding it up.
“Isn’t it going to fall?” Ichigo asked with grave concern, seeing the thing sway dangerously in the wind.
“Don’t be silly, Ichigo. This isn’t the first time they’ve erected this thing. They’ve been doing it every summer since time immemorial. To date, it has never fallen even once.” Rukia said.
Just then, someone shouted, “Oh no! It’s falling!” and in a flash, everyone was out from underneath the makeshift Dining Hall.
Ichigo watched the roof collapse with amusement written all over his face.
“You were saying?” he said to Rukia.
“My lips are sealed.” Rukia said.
Fortunately, Ichigo, Chad and Rukia had managed to snatch a plateful of lunch before the roof collapsed, so they didn’t curse and swear like the other soul reapers who hadn’t managed to think as quickly.
“Uryu’s missed lunch.” Rukia noted without much concern.
“He’s a wimp. Who cares about him?” Ichigo said.
Rukia shrugged.
* * * * *
“So, your name’s Ishida, isn’t it?”
“Yes. It’s Uryu Ishida.”
Uryu was enjoying the cool breeze that was entering through Ukitake’s cabin’s open windows. It was very helpful that the cabin was surrounded by water.
“I’d like you to have this.” Ukitake said, holding out a basketful of candy for Uryu.
“Me?” Uryu asked, his glasses wobbling on his nose, threatening to fall.
“Yes.” Ukitake said pleasantly. “Think of it as a gift. Both our names have a ‘sh’ sound in them, and both start with the letter U.”
“But you’ve mixed up first name and last—”
“Don’t ruin the moment.” Ukitake said; “I always feel happy when I meet people with names similar to mine.”
“Can I eat this now?” Uryu asked, his mouth watering at the sight of the candy. When he was with his friends, he was careful not to reveal his lust for candy, lest they laughed their asses off and derided him for being effeminate. But now that he was almost alone in Ukitake’s cabin with a big basketful of candy right before him, calling out his name in an extremely sensual manner, he’d be really cruel to himself to resist.
“Sure!” Ukitake said, and Uryu pounced on the basket and devoured the candy to the last morsel within a matter of moments.
“That was a great lunch, Captain Ukitake!” Uryu said.
“No problem. You can come down here anytime you like, and I’ll be sure to bring a whole sack of candy with me to the Meadows. You don’t have to be shy: just ask.” Ukitake said.
“Thanks so much!” Uryu said, feeling saliva rush into his mouth at the thought of having a whole sack of candy.
“Soul reapers aren’t so bad after all.” Uryu decided as he walked back from Ukitake’s cabin; “And the vacation’s going to be great, too.”
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