For many it was the average dull morning that boded of utter monotony and dreariness. After all, it was a Monday, and Mondays were meant to be boring. Mourn-day, they should have called it. So anyway, the people of Kanagawa got off their beds reluctantly, because there couldn’t possibly have been anything worth looking forward to in that predictable-as-the-other-side-of-a-white-paper day.
But for one person, it was a new beginning. Her name was June Entschuldigung. Queer name. Entschuldigung is German for ‘excuse me’. She was named so because that was what she had said to an officious fool at the supermarket who was trying to flirt with her when she was four months old. For after all, her beauty at that tender age would have made Audrey Hepburn jealous.
So anyway, June got up, stared at the floral ceiling of her bedroom, which was in her favorite shade of pink, walked over to her seven-foot tall looking glass, and said, “Good morning, beautiful. Today’s your first day at Shohoku. Heard the boys there are really hot.” And then she snorted contemptuously. “Nobody’s hot enough for me.”
She took half an hour in her strawberry -scented bubble-bath, before changing into her dull school uniform. Her parents had continually tried persuading the school authorities to permit her to wear whatever she wanted, because the shitty uniform would suppress her radiant looks, but in vain, and June’s mother couldn’t stop crying that whole day.
“My baby! Oh, I never thought this day would come!” sobbed Mrs. Claptrap, Claptrap being June’s actual family name, which was, incidentally, conferred onto their family by Queen Victoria when they used to be aristocrats in England. Now, they were reduced to mere multi-billionaires.
“Relax, dear,” said June’s father, who could also not suppress his emotions.
Brutus’ wife Portia had a ‘man’s mind but a woman’s might’. June had a ‘man’s mind but a woman’s body’. She could bear almost anything as long as it didn’t taint her looks. And she could certainly bear wearing a stupid uniform.
“I’ll be fine, mom,” said June, leaving the house with her entourage. She put on her rose-tinted shades as she sat inside her convertible and turned it on, signaling the entourage to seat themselves in the eight cars that were parked behind hers.
“Shohoku High School,” whispered June, smiling diabolically, as she parked her beautiful car smack in the middle of the courtyard so that everyone could have a good look at her.
She smiled at every passing student and got off the car. There was a banana peel right there, but her stilettos crushed the thing to smithereens.
“Excuse me.” she said to a riffraff who was passing by.
“Hello. My name’s Kogure. Hell, you’re so pretty, I wish you hadn’t said ‘Excuse me’. But since you did say ‘excuse me’, I think it’s my duty to stay here and listen to you-”
“- Yeah, whatever. Now, if you could tell me where Kaede Rukawa is? Heard he was hot.”
“Oh, that sonovabitch comes late every day. But I’m hot too. Wanna see?”
“Uh, no thanks. But listen here,” said June, lowering her shades to peer over them seductively and show Kogure her beautiful amber eyes; “I’m new. Could you show me the way to the office, please?”
And Kogure just couldn’t refuse. He dropped the books he was carrying onto the concrete floor and led June, blushing shamelessly.
A small crowd had developed behind June, and it kept growing and growing as they progressed on their journey to the office.
Once they reached the office, June turned around, and seemed contented with the fact that the entire male population of the school stood behind her, blushing madly and with their tongues hanging as if they were thirsty dogs. Students and teachers, jocks and nerds- Everyone was there.
“Le magnifique Rukawa-kun!” she exclaimed happily upon seeing the super-rookie, with his face tomato-red and his tongue imitating everyone else’s.
Just for the Guinness Book of World Records, she knew more languages than humans knew existed. After all, as she was told more often than there are stars in the universe, she wasn’t human- She was divine!
“Register me, now,” ordered June to Kogure, moving away from the office and disappointing the blushing office-man.
June walked up to the one person she thought was worthy of her love- was ‘hot enough’ for her- and that was, as her predecessors May and April (and a certain Maria Sue) had chosen, Kaede Rukawa!
She planted her rose-red lips on Kaede’s and the latter couldn’t believe that his body-temperature could go any higher than what it was then. That was, until, she gave him a full-fledged kiss. People liked to call it the French Kiss, but she liked to call it the June Kiss.
And after forty days and forty nights of June Kissing, Kaede Rukawa and the-now June Rukawa moved to June’s private country and lived happily ever after, playing basketball and June-Kissing.
But for one person, it was a new beginning. Her name was June Entschuldigung. Queer name. Entschuldigung is German for ‘excuse me’. She was named so because that was what she had said to an officious fool at the supermarket who was trying to flirt with her when she was four months old. For after all, her beauty at that tender age would have made Audrey Hepburn jealous.
So anyway, June got up, stared at the floral ceiling of her bedroom, which was in her favorite shade of pink, walked over to her seven-foot tall looking glass, and said, “Good morning, beautiful. Today’s your first day at Shohoku. Heard the boys there are really hot.” And then she snorted contemptuously. “Nobody’s hot enough for me.”
She took half an hour in her strawberry -scented bubble-bath, before changing into her dull school uniform. Her parents had continually tried persuading the school authorities to permit her to wear whatever she wanted, because the shitty uniform would suppress her radiant looks, but in vain, and June’s mother couldn’t stop crying that whole day.
“My baby! Oh, I never thought this day would come!” sobbed Mrs. Claptrap, Claptrap being June’s actual family name, which was, incidentally, conferred onto their family by Queen Victoria when they used to be aristocrats in England. Now, they were reduced to mere multi-billionaires.
“Relax, dear,” said June’s father, who could also not suppress his emotions.
Brutus’ wife Portia had a ‘man’s mind but a woman’s might’. June had a ‘man’s mind but a woman’s body’. She could bear almost anything as long as it didn’t taint her looks. And she could certainly bear wearing a stupid uniform.
“I’ll be fine, mom,” said June, leaving the house with her entourage. She put on her rose-tinted shades as she sat inside her convertible and turned it on, signaling the entourage to seat themselves in the eight cars that were parked behind hers.
“Shohoku High School,” whispered June, smiling diabolically, as she parked her beautiful car smack in the middle of the courtyard so that everyone could have a good look at her.
She smiled at every passing student and got off the car. There was a banana peel right there, but her stilettos crushed the thing to smithereens.
“Excuse me.” she said to a riffraff who was passing by.
“Hello. My name’s Kogure. Hell, you’re so pretty, I wish you hadn’t said ‘Excuse me’. But since you did say ‘excuse me’, I think it’s my duty to stay here and listen to you-”
“- Yeah, whatever. Now, if you could tell me where Kaede Rukawa is? Heard he was hot.”
“Oh, that sonovabitch comes late every day. But I’m hot too. Wanna see?”
“Uh, no thanks. But listen here,” said June, lowering her shades to peer over them seductively and show Kogure her beautiful amber eyes; “I’m new. Could you show me the way to the office, please?”
And Kogure just couldn’t refuse. He dropped the books he was carrying onto the concrete floor and led June, blushing shamelessly.
A small crowd had developed behind June, and it kept growing and growing as they progressed on their journey to the office.
Once they reached the office, June turned around, and seemed contented with the fact that the entire male population of the school stood behind her, blushing madly and with their tongues hanging as if they were thirsty dogs. Students and teachers, jocks and nerds- Everyone was there.
“Le magnifique Rukawa-kun!” she exclaimed happily upon seeing the super-rookie, with his face tomato-red and his tongue imitating everyone else’s.
Just for the Guinness Book of World Records, she knew more languages than humans knew existed. After all, as she was told more often than there are stars in the universe, she wasn’t human- She was divine!
“Register me, now,” ordered June to Kogure, moving away from the office and disappointing the blushing office-man.
June walked up to the one person she thought was worthy of her love- was ‘hot enough’ for her- and that was, as her predecessors May and April (and a certain Maria Sue) had chosen, Kaede Rukawa!
She planted her rose-red lips on Kaede’s and the latter couldn’t believe that his body-temperature could go any higher than what it was then. That was, until, she gave him a full-fledged kiss. People liked to call it the French Kiss, but she liked to call it the June Kiss.
And after forty days and forty nights of June Kissing, Kaede Rukawa and the-now June Rukawa moved to June’s private country and lived happily ever after, playing basketball and June-Kissing.
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