Life’s been pretty dull lately. To liven things up, I went on a flaming spree for a few days (the past three days, to be precise). It kinda paid off. There were several stories in the Slam Dunk category that I flamed, and this is one of them (so far, the only one to which the author has replied):
Story1:
My review: Let me guess. She's the most perfect girl in the world, and it's impossible for anyone to not fall in love with her. She has an extremely tragic past but she hides it like some trunk in the basement. Mitsui's the only one who'll be able to reach her heart. How romantic. NOT! This idea is so cliched. About 248345802398402 miserable Mary Sue writers like you have already used it in their miserable fics. Who needs another Mary Sue/self-insert? Go press the 'delete' button to save intelligent people the torture of reading the title and summary of your fic on the archive page.
His/her/its reply: LOL. To answer your questions, dear.
1. No, she's not the most perfect girl in the world. I don't make flawless characters since they bore me to death, and she is certainly not an exception.
2. Mitsui is indeed the only one who can save her, as this is, a Mitsui-centered fic.
3. Why the bitterness? If you don't like this type of stories, you shouldn't be bothered to read it, nor give over your time to actually review the god-forsaken thing.
4. I'm reporting you. I don't care that you're just voicing out your opinion about my stories. There are better ways to express your criticism in a non-hostile manner, and you know that.
5. Did you even read the story? ROTF.
My reply: You're still the piteous one, and I still get the last laugh. I don't care if you report me or not. By now, at least a billion people must have reported me, if you get my drift. And the hostility? It's inherent. I know there are nicer ways to criticize, but I deliberately avoid them. I revel in your indignation, and enjoy every bit of your miserable attempts at getting back at me. And by 'you', here, I'm referring to Mary Sue writers (like yourself) collectively. They all possess single-digit IQs, much like you do, and they all make lame excuses to cover up the fact that their OCs are Mary Sues. No matter how much you try and deny it, all OCs are Mary Sues. And one more thing, just so you know, your reporting me isn't going to have any effect whatsoever. I have no doubt that you are capable of reading simple English, and that you read what was written on top of the report-user window (although I get the feeling that I'm overestimating your intelligence and being too optimistic.) Or have you forgotten already? Let me remind you, then. This is what's written: "Note that critical or harsh reviews are not considered abuses. It is the right of the reviewer to like or dislike this story." Unfortunately for you, no matter how harsh you thought my review was, it doesn't qualify for an abuse. Hard luck. Maybe you could try blocking me the next time, or making a more intelligent comeback. You're hardly any fun, if you must know.
His/her/its second reply (copied and pasted from Yahoo! Mail):
You have received a private message from:
Name: Jakafe
Profile:
http://www.fanfiction.net/u/4676/--------------------
I do not wish to be of any fun for you, I was simply being responsive, as you might have noticed that you are of course, practically require attention being spawned for your favour. If you need to bring hostility in the sole purpose of belittling writers other than yourself, then so be it, but I will say what I want to say to you, and if my wording doesn't fit to your liking, then golly, I guess that won't kill me, eh? Yes I did notice how jolly it is to have that sign plastered across the review-report notification pop-up, but while harsh comments like "Your story sucks!" and "I bet she's this one dimensional character you made up out of three seconds of brainstorming!" are acceptable within that category for me, unfortunately you and your "Go press the 'delete'button to save intelligent people the torture of reading the title and summary of your fic on the archive page." is downright degrading and pointless. You read one chapter and flamed? Bitter since I don't include possible anal insertion between fictional sweaty high school basket ballers, much? Teehee.
I'll say it once and I'll say it again, if this ain't your cup of tea, why sip it on the first place? Please, grow up and grab a sense of logic. If that's too tough for you to achieve, then I guess that's not my loss, kid. **on the internet is so 1999, and look at you still stuck there! LMAO. You're right, though. The ignore button is the way to go for you, since you're most likely an example of how one must grab that LAST WORD to retain egotistical reasoning alone for personal enjoyment. Well them go ahead and jiggle away them e-balls you got there, kid. I'll get the confetti ready once you're done.
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He/she/it blocked me, just like I’d suggested. What a bummer. I didn’t actually think they’d do that. Turns out they were just as pusillanimous as I thought they were. Okay, so I guess replying on my blog, however pointless it may be, shall have to suffice.
Dear happy, ignorant Jakafe,
Of course you don’t wish to be the object of my entertainment. You’d be a masochist to enjoy the negative attention. That’s what makes it that much more fun for me. You got it all wrong, though: I don’t pine for attention like you and your kin: I’m just sadist, and like I said, I revel in your indignation. It’s kind of like nutrition, actually. I feel energized when you reply and make feeble attempts at insulting me; and the more you reply, the more I enjoy it. Don’t you see? You’re only making a display of your stupidity by replying to me, because unlike my flames, your replies are absolutely empty; insignificant. They make no sense. That coupled with the fact that your grammar sucks big time gave me a hearty laugh. I know you don’t like, but there’s no helping it. You make me laugh.
It’s ironic that people who lack the ability to think logically are usually the first to bring up the word ‘logic’ in conversation and try and sound like they know what they’re talking about. I suppose it’s their insecurity that makes them do so, since a small part of them probably acknowledges their retardation. As for that 1999 thing, I don’t even want to know what you meant by it. Probably some shit-ass excuse that stupid people and rats use to cover up their brainlessness and lack of hygiene respectively. Or maybe both. Either way, you’re the dumb one.
And just so you know, I was neither expecting nor hoping to read about anal insertion or its likes in the later chapters of your hopeless fic. My views on romance are nonexistent, and although I like yaoi fics a lot more than Mary Sues (and that goes without saying), I’m not a fan of romance. Go dip your head in the toilet bowl in shame, and then pull the flush and hope that your face gets sucked in.
So you can LMAO all you want. I’m glad that there are people out there who enjoy laughing at themselves. It only proves flamers like me correct and makes us realize just how superior we are.
Ciao!
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