an interesting exchange

I generally avoid flaming fics in the Bleach category because I’m biased toward the show, but I couldn’t resist flaming this particular one. The author was impudent enough to warp Byakuya’s character. They made him a resident of the Rukongai and said that he never had a noble status. This is possibly the worst kind of insult you can give a crazy Byakuya fan.

On top of that, the fic was not only inspired by the movie Bleach: Memories of Nobody, but was blatantly a total rip-off of it. The plot was the same, and heck, even the dialogues were. All they changed were the characters (and replaced Ichigo by a female namesake of his), and they introduced an odious OC. So yeah, I was infuriated and I flamed it, as any Byakuya or Bleach fan would have done. An interesting albeit clichéd (and expectedly acrimonious) exchange between the indignant author and me ensued, with me obviously monopolizing the argument, or as it should be more aptly called, the one-sided battle. In the end I think they were as pusillanimous as their stupidity would have indicated, because they didn’t reply after the third exchange. So far, that is, but I don’t care anyway.

This is the story: Guardian Strawberry: Memories of the Dragon

This is the author: Comet1234

My review: This is a total rip-off of Memories of Nobody. You could have at least tried to be original and imaginative. All you did was replace Ichigo with a female, Rukia with a miserably OOC Byakuya (which I find affronting), and the Blanks with -- cough -- pixies. You copied the dialogues word for word from the movie. Some special talent that requires! Delete this fic. It's insulting.

Their reply: Hey! **! I am only on chapter one!How the hell do you know if i haven't changed the plot!Yes the enemy is the same but Natsukuro does have a major back story.He is compleletly different to Senna!Senna was a bunch of memories.Natsukuro is an Ex-Shinigami.Plus with Byakuya being OOC, well that might be the fact that he is from Rukongai?Plus he's more a teenager!This Byakuya isn't some Noble ** who lost his wife then adopted someone else.I mean seriously have you even read the Guardian Strawberry series?Because from what i can you havn't read **! You read this story and decided to insult my work.How about next time you get your facts right before you insult someone?!

My reply to that: Because it's insultingly obvious from your lack of writing skills, or for that matter intelligence, that you HAVE NOT changed the plot save for changing the characters and the appearance of the situation. O-o-o-h I'm so excited to find out about your retarded OC's nauseatingly unimaginative life history! What a load of crap. And the reader is supposed to assume at the start of your story that Byakuya's from Rukongai? Along with believing in the Tooth Fairy and flying pigs? Get real. Your banal plot reeks of idiocy that is ironically too profound for someone of superior intelligence like myself to comprehend. And as any intelligent writer who starts on a sequel to their story would indubitably do, summarizing your previous shitass work in a paragraph or two at the start of the present cruddy fic would have been a desideratum. Sheesh! What am I thinking? Reasoning with a cow like you? Your single-digit IQ evidently enabled you to make this pitiful attempt at a comeback, possibly in the hope of injuring my massive ego, but you've failed. You played right into my hands. All you did is amuse me and make me appear smarter than I'm already willing to admit. Oh and you flatter yourself if you think I endured the torture of reading your retarded fic just to insult the likes of you. I did it because I enjoy making stupid people realize their stupidity, and if you haven't already and aren't feeling even a tinge of guilt at having ever been born, you're even stupider than I'd initially expected you to be.

Feel free to reply and expose more of your retardation. I have no qualms about crushing you again.

Their miserable, fetal reply to that: It ** ** like you that i crush under my feet!You are ** bastard!!You have nothing better to do than insult over people's work!You know what? I've read your Fan Fictions and i like them alright.But that doesn't mean you insult other people for the heck of it!!Why don't you just get life you ** **?!You obiously have nothing better to do than insult other people and bring them down.If my series if so inuslting, then why are people still reading it and waiting for me to update?It's called Fan Fiction for a reason! You make it up!It doesn't matter if it wont happen in the actuall canon!!I write because i enjoy doing it.Not to listen to people like you with no life.If you don't like my Fan Fictions then why the hell were you reading and reviewing?!And why did you reply back to me if you so said, don't give a damn?Think of it this way. If i'm stupid to reply to you, think what that makes you to reply back to me.

My last reply: Ah, it's so nice to hear moos of indignation proceeding from an angry cow. Your miserable attempts at self-redemption are more than amusing, actually. Using big words like 'bastard' and those other words that FFnet reduced to asterisks (I should have liked to know what they were) makes you appear weaker and stupider than you already are. I think I managed to gather, after resolving the numerous errors, that what you were trying to say in sentence 3 was that I lived solely for flaming (trashy, stupid, unimaginative, badly written, pretentious) fics. You're mistaken. Flaming just happens to be one of the numerous joys that life offers. Just like you cows chew the cud, we of the intelligentsia flame. And the fact that you uploaded a fic (and a trashy one at that) to FFnet in the first place makes it open to all kinds of criticism. And reviewers who have nothing more to say than "itz awesome!" or "plz update soon!!!" are shallow and stupid and obviously don't know what a review is in the first place, and if that's your idea of a 'good' review then you're obviously destitute of anything resembling the faintest flickers of intelligence long extinguished.

Because it's fan fiction you can post whatever kind of crap you like? Puh-leez! That's the most cliched excuse for a horrible story that I've heard in my entire flaming career. Thinking you can justify the shittiness of your fic by saying that you're entitled to post whatever crap you like is paradoxically not thinking at all. You're the one being disrespectful by posting the ** that you posted when it's obviously a rip-off. To be honest, I might have considered not flaming you at all if you'd acknowledged at the start of your fic that it was based on Memories of Nobody (which is an understatement per se). Then again, I might have, but that's another story altogether.

And to address the third line from the end in your reply, I don't believe in 'don't like, don't read', which incidentally is a message the shittier authors put up in the summary of their stories. I believe that if I don't like a fic, or deem it unwholesome for human reading, the author must be excoriated and made to realize the gravity of the felony they committed.

And I never said anywhere that you were stupid to reply to me. (I mean, you're stupid anyway, so I don't have to create some special situation wherein you'd be classified as stupid. Stupid people are stupid everywhere: on the mountains, on the beaches, in caves, at the theater, in the park, in the trashcan, in the grave -- everywhere.) On the contrary, I said I would appreciate your replying to me because stupidity amuses me. The 'expose your retardation bit' was just a side-remark, and well, evidently it turned out to be true. And you should be thankful that someone as busy as I am is taking out his time and reading through your unintelligible PMs.

Oh and, just making up something like 'if you sit down, you're stupid' and feeling all proud of yourself for having actually (mendaciously) made the other party look stupid is stupidity in its essence. Just calling me stupid is not going to make me, whose intelligence surpasses yours, or your lack of it, by too large a degree to be measured by the human mind, or even a supercomputer, stupid. On the other hand, you already are stupid. Basis of judgement lies in your bogus fic and the quality of the argument (I assume that's what you were aiming at) that you put forth. There's no remedying congenial retardation. As they say, not even death can cure stupidity. So yeah, you're hopeless. Now that you know it, consider removing yourself from the face of humanity and retiring to the mountains where nobody can see you or catch a whiff of your lunacy.

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And they never replied, so yeah, I’m predisposed to believe that they decided that the stress of countering my unceasing depredation of flames was too much for them to handle. Oh well. It was fun while it lasted.