greek mythology and idiots

You know what’s funny? This: that there could be people on this planet who get offended by Disney movies and go on to justify their delusional stance with equally delusional theories. So I was randomly googling Hercules today to see if I could watch the movie online anywhere, and I came across this webpage (I couldn’t call it a “blog” since it’s way too underdeveloped to qualify for one), where the ignoramus of an author says indignantly that Disney’s Hercules “blasphemes the Bible.” He’s probably been eaten by Goliath the Giant for all you know. He takes enormous offense for the fact that one of the songs in Hercules is called “The Gospel Truth.” The fact is, even the title of the webpage could wholly convince you that whatever follows it is unadulterated rot, but as they say, you have to see it to believe it. So this brainless son of a whore here claims that referring to Greek myths as “the gospel truth” is blasphemous, because apparently everyone knows that “the Bible is Truth; Greek mythology is only fiction.” Don’t tell me this brainless yak actually expects the Muses to debunk Greek mythology as a load of fictitious crap. What is the world coming to? This animal goes on to call Walt Disney a “heathen” for “leading the way in corrupting children’s minds, inoculating them from the Truth of God’s Word.” So I take it, Mr. Defender-of-God’s-Rights, that someone’s probably paying you a meager wage to make a fool of yourself in front of the world. I mean come on, if his bitch of a mother had been murdered by a Greek God, I might have even understood this poor, IQ-deficit vegetable’s problem. It’s a children’s movie, for goodness’ sake. And this guy here is what, an adult? He goes on to speculate that C. S. Lewis is “burning in hellfire right now” because he had apparently made some “heretical” remarks against the Bible, and endorsed “pagan beliefs.” I’m speculating that this David J. Stewart guy’s problem is that he was born part earthworm. In which case he really should be blaming his dad, who has probably been squashed underneath some rock by now, and not Disney. If you ask me, David J. Stewart’s probably trying to turn the Pacific Ocean into wine right now, so if you ever bump into him, tranquilize him and take him to the local asylum.

Speaking of Greek mythology, I’ve decided to read the second book in the Percy Jackson series since the first is indubitably lost and I don’t have the patience to wait until we buy it again. Book Two should not be too irrelevant. Especially since the movie’s coming out next year and is likely to cover everything that I’ve missed. Getting to the point, and past the issue of the childish language, which was initially something that put me off, I find that it’s a really enjoyable story. The humor’s great, and the narrative befitting. I mean, come on, he’s the one saying it, and you can’t expect a teenager to talk like Shakespeare—that’s what I realized when I was about twenty pages into the book and beginning to enjoy it. The whole concept of having demigods roam the city is pretty cool, and very original—at least as far as I know. I’ve read about the first hundred pages, and Percy, Annabeth and Tyson are on the Princess Andromeda, being led to a drakon (?) or something.

Finally, I’d like everyone reading this to reflect on an apt punishment for people like the jackass I’ve mentioned in the first pagaraph. Theirs is an entirely different level of stupidity, and that, my friends, is the Gospel Truth.