I've watched 41 episodes of Slam Dunk so far on this run. The only thing keeping me from doing with Slam Dunk what I did with Bleach in 2009 is prudence. I want to savor the show as I watch it, not barrel through it like a hurricane. I want the spell to last a long time after I've finished watching the show. I posted the first chapter of a multi-chap on the 28th. I didn't intend it to be good, and as a result don't know what to do with it now. I just wanted to put something out there so that people (mainly me) know that this author isn't one who is wiling to see his name printed in the obituaries of literary newspapers just yet. But I'm so lost for ideas that it I find it difficult to believe that I've ever had any. None of my fanfics, with the exception of one or two, have ever pleased me, but I'm glad I wrote them. And I now regret more than ever having deleted all of them in that one deranged moment two years ago. I have a propensity for things like that: doing something stupid and awful, and regretting it almost instantly. The number of electronics I've broken out of anger should be sufficient evidence that I am not in fact mentally stable. (I've fixed a few of the ones I've broken, including this, but that's beside the point.) But I think I'm in better control of my emotions now that I am older and, I hope, wiser.
The point being that I seriously regret ever having deleted those fanfics. Ugly though they were, uninspired though they were, in severe need of emendation though they were, they were like milestones in my life. (I must not be setting myself very worthy goals...) Now if you go to my profile on FFn, there is no evidence that I posted anything between 2008 and 2011, though I in fact wrote nearly seventy stories in that period. The most I have had on FFn at any given point was 58, if I remember correctly. I reduced that to a stable 36 in 2010, I think. And then, in a stroke of madness, I got rid of all of them. I wish I hadn't done that. I wish I had at least kept the ones I later uploaded. Now the re-uploads stare up at me from under my pen name like terrible clones, with faces eerily like the originals, but lacking the element of humanness that made them so valuable in spite of their numerous imperfections. Those blank faces are what I have created, and now I have to live with them.
That was cheesy. I wish I had a piano or a basketball so I could do things that I enjoy doing, instead of spending the Fourth of July in a depressing old basement. Well, it's raining outside, so I don't suppose there's much I could do. I'm not really in the mood today to drag this entry on with banter and irrelevancies, so I'll end this with something relevant. Bleach totally sucks now. I have no idea what's going on in that series anymore, nor do I care. If I were ever to write fan fiction for that category again, it would be with a near-complete ignorance of everything that's happened since Aizen's anticlimactic defeat. I am dimly aware that Titkubs has made some important revelations in the later chapters, but I couldn't care less for them. If Titkubs had gracefully ended the series in anything nearing the masterful and timely fashion in which Takehiko Inoue ended Slam Dunk, Bleach might have been up there right now in my eyes. But who knows what Titkubs is doing? There's a lesson to be learnt for everyone in the way Takehiko Inoue wrote Slam Dunk: there is nothing superfluous, the story flows from start to finish fluidly and without at any time making the reader/watcher feel lost, and it has an ending. The numerous other good points of that series are a delectable bonus. That's it.
The point being that I seriously regret ever having deleted those fanfics. Ugly though they were, uninspired though they were, in severe need of emendation though they were, they were like milestones in my life. (I must not be setting myself very worthy goals...) Now if you go to my profile on FFn, there is no evidence that I posted anything between 2008 and 2011, though I in fact wrote nearly seventy stories in that period. The most I have had on FFn at any given point was 58, if I remember correctly. I reduced that to a stable 36 in 2010, I think. And then, in a stroke of madness, I got rid of all of them. I wish I hadn't done that. I wish I had at least kept the ones I later uploaded. Now the re-uploads stare up at me from under my pen name like terrible clones, with faces eerily like the originals, but lacking the element of humanness that made them so valuable in spite of their numerous imperfections. Those blank faces are what I have created, and now I have to live with them.
That was cheesy. I wish I had a piano or a basketball so I could do things that I enjoy doing, instead of spending the Fourth of July in a depressing old basement. Well, it's raining outside, so I don't suppose there's much I could do. I'm not really in the mood today to drag this entry on with banter and irrelevancies, so I'll end this with something relevant. Bleach totally sucks now. I have no idea what's going on in that series anymore, nor do I care. If I were ever to write fan fiction for that category again, it would be with a near-complete ignorance of everything that's happened since Aizen's anticlimactic defeat. I am dimly aware that Titkubs has made some important revelations in the later chapters, but I couldn't care less for them. If Titkubs had gracefully ended the series in anything nearing the masterful and timely fashion in which Takehiko Inoue ended Slam Dunk, Bleach might have been up there right now in my eyes. But who knows what Titkubs is doing? There's a lesson to be learnt for everyone in the way Takehiko Inoue wrote Slam Dunk: there is nothing superfluous, the story flows from start to finish fluidly and without at any time making the reader/watcher feel lost, and it has an ending. The numerous other good points of that series are a delectable bonus. That's it.
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