diversions and absolution

I am nine pages into Vallee d'Obermann at this point, out of sixteen; but there is much work to be done yet: an entire section to learn, and previous sections to refine and perfect. Still, I have never made so much progress on any work in such little time. It's probably because I am sensible that, ultimately, this is a piece that is within my technical grasp. The reason I haven't made any progress on Chopin's G Minor Ballade, for instance, is that I have hit a brick wall. It's simply too difficult. But Liszt, in his infinite benevolence, and in spite of his legendary virtuosity and the insuperable difficulty of many of his other well-known pieces, has given those of us who are not possessed of his sort of gifts something to feel good about. For that we do obeisance to him, and recognize him as our sovereign. (Yes, I know I used this paragraph almost verbatim in my last email to mentalparticipant, but it describes perfectly what I wanted to say on the subject.)

All this comes at a time when I ought to be studying for finals. The Algorithms and Compilers finals are both this Friday; and recent and not-so-recent experience has convinced me not to heed any attempts by my subconscious to make me believe that I am the protagonist of a unique tale whom no ill can ever befall. Of course it remains to be seen whether I shall actually take my own advice. In the first paragraph of this entry lies evidence that my present distractions are completely real, if not also for that reason justified. The prudent thing to do, of course, would be to postpone all short-lived pleasures until such a time as I don't have these urgent obligations to my education, just as the ideal IIT aspirant against whom I have been inveighing for all these years has trained himself to do. Ironically I might to do just that, though perhaps for different reasons.

The "presentation" today didn't go as badly as I had expected. I didn't have to present before the whole class, at any rate: only a certain section of it, designated as my "group". There was another kid who seemed wholly consumed by nervousness, so that made it the easier for me to believe that my incomplete presentation was still worth presenting. I also realize that I have wronged Alex K. in saying the sort of opprobrious things I have said about him throughout this past week. I take them all back. That shifty-eyed TA, is however, not absolved of the sins she has committed in running this class as exuberantly as she does.