Grad school apps this time. I must say, in spite all the misgivings I have been having lately about not being qualified enough for grad school, the application process may prove considerably less time-consuming than my undergraduate applications, with its no-nonsense, no-extracurriculars approach to evaluating one's worth. There is only one - at most two - essays this time around, too. Most deadlines are on December 15, but some are as late as January or February 2015, so I'm not exactly pressed for time; and if I am, I can always draw inspiration from the fact that my best essays for undergrad were written with less than two weeks to go before the deadline. Those essays, to be sure, were for colleges that ended up pretending that I didn't exist (no doubt because they were threatened by my amazing writing skills), but that's all water under the bridge.
It's hard to believe that I have six months left before I graduate. These four years (three and a half, so far) seem to have whizzed past me like some kind of malfunctioning motor vehicle. Looking back, they were considerably dense with events and experiences, so that I shouldn't feel robbed of any amount of time - and I don't. The projects and assignments alluded to in my last post are making me desire a hasty end to it all. But how much I have changed in these last four years. No amount of space is adequate for detailing the aspects in which I am different from my naïve eighteen-year-old self, so it will doubtless be more useful to explore things that haven't changed.
I'm just as supercilious as I was back then, if not more so. I am exactly as tall as I was back then, much to my dismay. I still have the same admiration for Bleach and Slam Dunk, though more pronounced on some days than others. I still write, when I have the time. My need for the piano in my life is greater than it has ever been before. What else? I can't think of anything else at the moment. Maybe I shall write fan fiction again, just for old times' sake, once I have dealt with the hydra that is grad school apps.
It's weird thinking about graduation. Part of the reason why this post is so desultory, in fact. I'm not going to try to edit it, because that would require addressing things that I have little desire to address. I laugh when I think about the fact that I was a runner for 2½ years - even harder when I think about the "vignette" on running that I wrote a year or so ago. Still, I enjoyed running immensely, and would take it up again if I could.
For now, I'm reading The Judgment of Paris, one of Gore Vidal's early novels. It's more flowery than his later works, and more sardonic, too; but absent the cynicism of his old age, his sardonicism seems to be underlined with the sheepish grin of the fundamentally optimistic. Still, it is more often than not delightful - especially in his solemn, reverent descriptions of sex scenes that he obviously itches to dive into wantonly. Perhaps he thought doing so would lead people to write him off as frivolous. Somehow I think that unlikely.
I'm watching The West Wing. Amazing show. Well written (it's Aaron Sorkin), likeable characters, engaging plot. There is little not to like. I know Nicky would love it, given her love of politics.
Final metalinguistic thoughts on this entry: Short choppy sentences. Desultory. Distracted.
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