I need to gush over Slam Dunk, Ryonan, and Sendoh in a blog entry so that I can sleep tonight. I apologize for all the Slam Dunk-related entries lately. (It's not like anyone reads them anyway.) I'm watching the second Shohoku vs. Ryonan game. I think I shall skip the last two episodes of the game. I always skip the first of these, since the entire episode is just Kogure having flashbacks while his three-point shot is sailing through the air at a leisurely pace. And I shall skip the last, because that's where Ryonan actually loses. The odds are stacked against Shohoku throughout. They only win because they are the protagonists, and because of Sakuragi, who is the protagonist among the protagonists. Rukawa is nothing but a mop with which Sendoh has been wiping the floor ever since the countdown began. Seriously, nothing Rukawa ever did in his entire life comes close to what Sendoh does in this game alone - not to mention his stellar performance against Kainan and all his previous feats that were responsible for his reputation for being a Scoring Machine.
Anzai was merely being his usual polite self when he said Rukawa hadn't beaten Sendoh yet. What he really should have said was, "Rukawa, you will never beat Sendoh. Not if you cloned yourself a thousand times, and played a thousand-on-one match against him. In fact, you should have gone to Ryonan when Coach Taoka offered you a place there, so you could roll out the red carpet for Sendoh wherever he went. As for America, the first thing the customs officer would tell you when you landed is, 'It says here you're not as good as Sendoh. Fuck off.' So please, Rukawa, fuck off, and shoot me in the head so I don't remember what your face looks like."
And Sawakita should have said, "Akira Sendoh was a worthy opponent. Even in junior high he was a better basketball player than you are now. I really don't understand why they keep sending these 'aces' to try to stop me, as if they could come close to Sendoh in terms of awesomeness. You're only an ace because you go to Shohoku. At Sannoh they wouldn't even let you peek in through the gym doors. They wouldn't even let you attend our games as a spectator. If you want to be the best player in Japan, do it in a Japan without me. Or Sendoh. Or Maki. Or Fujima. Or Moroboshi. And so on."
And Sendoh was merely being modest (perhaps even ironic?) when he said to Rukawa during their one-on-ones before the Inter Highs something to the effect that they were constantly tying in their one-on-ones. What Sendoh should have said was, "We're constantly tying, because I'm not even trying. I'm sorry, but I don't have the same incentive as you have to win these matches, because I don't really see you as an opponent. More like comic relief. You're doing your best to prepare for the Inter Highs, and the only thing on my mind is the fish I'm going to catch afterwards. And we're still tying. Do you call this a fair game? You're going to have break both my legs and blindfold me if you want this to be a fair game."
And Haruko should have said, "The only reason I have a crush on you, Rukawa, is because the alternative is going out with that redhead dweeb, which doesn't sound so bad now that I think about it. Sakuragi is amazing, not to mention his hair is so much cooler than yours. And if Sakuragi turned me down, I would settle for one of his friends. Even the fat one. They're so much nicer than you. I really don't know what I saw in you, Rukawa. You're such a loser that your parents probably told you you were adopted, even if you weren't. Sometimes I wish I went to Ryonan, because Sendoh is so much cooler than you, and so much better at basketball."
And Akagi should have said, "The only reason you're on the team, Rukawa, is that we literally have no one else. I guess I'm going to have to be a one-man team again. Oh wait - Hahahaha - I'm not. I forgot about Sakuragi. Now that's what I call a basketball player."
And Haruko should have said, "The only reason I have a crush on you, Rukawa, is because the alternative is going out with that redhead dweeb, which doesn't sound so bad now that I think about it. Sakuragi is amazing, not to mention his hair is so much cooler than yours. And if Sakuragi turned me down, I would settle for one of his friends. Even the fat one. They're so much nicer than you. I really don't know what I saw in you, Rukawa. You're such a loser that your parents probably told you you were adopted, even if you weren't. Sometimes I wish I went to Ryonan, because Sendoh is so much cooler than you, and so much better at basketball."
And Akagi should have said, "The only reason you're on the team, Rukawa, is that we literally have no one else. I guess I'm going to have to be a one-man team again. Oh wait - Hahahaha - I'm not. I forgot about Sakuragi. Now that's what I call a basketball player."
That was a bit of an exaggeration, I suppose. But the first paragraph is absolutely true. Not to mention the fact that Rukawa's not good enough to lead Shohoku to victory all by himself. Shohoku wouldn't have won half their games without Sakuragi - especially toward the end, and definitely the second game against Ryonan. On the other hand, Sendoh is fully capable of leading his team to victory, as he has done countless times in the past. If Sendoh had gone to Shohoku and Rukawa had gone to Ryonan, they would have beaten Kainan 100-80 and Ryonan 200-0, because he would have been armed with Protagonist by His Side, and had a shit ton of talent of his own to spare.
It was with glee that I watched Rukawa get crushed by Sawakita. For that alone Sawakita should have got the Nobel Peace Prize, even though it was really no big deal beating someone as shitty as Rukawa.
End of rant, I suppose. And now I kind of feel bad. I don't really dislike Rukawa. He's a sterling fellow, I suppose. I'm just trying to set the record straight. He is not better than Sendoh. Not even at the end of the series, when he realizes that he has been retarded the whole time when it comes to passes. Sendoh will always be a two-digit number of steps ahead of Rukawa at the nearest.
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