the lonely manatee - a children's story

The lonely manatee was the largest, flabbiest manatee that had been spotted in the waters off the coast of Florida in over a hundred years. She was cleverer than most manatees of her size, and not a little insufferable. It was this second quality that caused other manatees to avoid her like the plague, for the lonely manatee never wasted an opportunity to subject unwilling audiences to her strong views on coral reef communities.

The lonely manatee did not understand why other manatees spurned her. Her only crime was that she thought coral reef communities were the most interesting thing in the world. Was that really so bad?

"Their loss," she assured herself, absently wondering whether her left breast had always been so big.

The lonely manatee had a son, and this cub was her only companion in the whole wide ocean. She did not know who the father was, and did not particularly care. Men, she held, were good only for procreation. A staunch opponent of traditional gender roles, the lonely manatee defiantly named her son Emma.

"Mommy," said Emma one evening over dinner. "What sound does an octopus make?"

The lonely manatee was stumped. She had always thought Emma rather slow-witted for a fifteen-year-old, even by manatee standards. Now he was asking the most profound questions.

"Emma," said the lonely manatee with tears in her eyes. Her left breast began sputtering like a rapidly deflating balloon. "An octopus, you see, chirps."

Satisfied with this answer, Emma withdrew into a contemplative silence from which he was never to emerge.

And the lonely manatee resumed studying coral reef communities with the single-minded determination of one to whom it had never occurred how trivial she was in the grand scheme of things.